It's two thousand and twelve and I've been thinking a lot about the new year and new decisions and ideas and new experiences I want to have. It's two thousand and twelve and I've been thinking a lot about last year and the accomplishments, challenges, and changes it brought and how those experiences carry with me into this new year. It's two thousand and twelve and I've been thinking a lot about this blog and how it hasn't seemed to really fit into my life and whether I want it to fit into my life and what would need to change in order for it to fit into my life (if I want it to).
You see, lately this blog has felt a lot like a chore and I don't like chores and especially in the last 6 months I've been particularly good at avoiding this chore. I've had moments where I want to just delete the whole thing, to not post bits and pieces of my life for all to see. But something stops me from throwing in the towel. And that something that stops me is the other blogs that I read, the inspiration of their ideas, the power of their thoughts and the vulnerability of their emotions, and the general idea of being connected to other peoples' worlds through even the mundane aspects of life. And to be honest, I really love and hate that connection all at the same time. I hate it because it's not tangible or personable, it's not words spoken between friends. I hate it because in ways it reminds me of the lack of (geographically) close friends I have, and the difficulty of building a new support network. But, I love it because it facilitates "knowing" new friends and staying connected to old friends (and family) when time is short and space is great. I love it because it gives voice to my thoughts and provides a record of my experiences. I love it and I hate it and it is two thousand and twelve and I'm still thinking about how to resolve those two feelings.
So, I'm not going to promise anything. I'm not going to make any grand resolution to blog more. I'm only going to try to be more honest with myself about how I can use this format to stay connected but not feel empty at the same time. It's two thousand and twelve, a new year, and I'm going to keep thinking.
2 comments:
I, for one, look for new posts and always love reading them and feeling connected despite the distance. Hope you'll be inspired to write often. I know I miss reading your words when there's lots of time in between.
Thanks Nique! I appreciate the feedback. I definitely love hearing updates from you and other friends too! One of my biggest reasons for wanting to maintain the blog.
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