surviving unemployment.

If you can call watching more episodes of Friday Night Lights then I care to admit surviving unemployment, then, people, I am surviving.

Seriously though. Let me tell you, and not that this is really any unknown news, but unemployment is hard and it is draining and I am discouraged. Because every time I re-write my cover letter and email it off to yet another job, I feel a twinge of hope. Like, maybe this is the one. I think to myself this job sounds so much more interesting than all the ones I've applied to before it. But, then coupled with this twinge of hope, are other thoughts. Because even though this is the best job out there, I need to find something wrong with it, so I can be okay when I don't get a second interview or I don't even hear back from the organization at all. This, friends, is self-preservation. And, I'm okay with it. Because it's allowing me to survive unemployment.

As with most of life's challenges, some days are harder than others. And, on those days in particular, it's a good idea to make cheesy jalapeno beer bread,

or chocolate pie.

Because on those hard days, it seems like I'm not just unemployed, but I'm unemployable.

And then the self-esteem mantras have to make an appearance. You have skills. You have relevant work experience. You have two masters. You are employable.

So, in an attempt at more than just survival and to keep myself from talking to Nora like she's my co-worker, I'm making a grand to-do list. And, I'm posting it here for all to see.

1. Get a job.

2. Read more: Books to finish-Trauma Stewardship by Laura Van Dernoot Lipsky, 7th Harry Potter, and Shock Doctrine by Naomi Klein. Books to start: Bossypants by Tina Fey and the Hunger Games series.

3. Get outside at least once a day

4. Sew something with stuff I already have

5. Take a class (the Jewish Community Center we joined has lots of free ones)

6. Plan housewarming party

7. Get a CA license

8. Each week send someone a card

9. Keep the apartment clean (You would think someone that spends all day at home could do a little more than their share of this, but motivation in this area is sorely lacking!)

10. Use one of my graduation presents and get a massage

11. Make a food budget (It's so hard to limit, now that we're back in SF)

12. Make 4 more coasters (i.e. getting creative with the ikea catalog, they look like this)

13. Keep up the exercising. Two classes that I've been taking that I really love are cycle sculpt (cycling with the addition of a weight workout) and bollywood dancing (love it!)

14. Create/find a mail organizing system that actually works

15. Blog 2-3 times per week.

On a totally unrelated note, is this dress cute or have I been unemployed too long? I feel as though it could have a number of ill-fitting issues.

source

Also, if you have any positive advice, encouragement, or to-do suggestions, feel free to comment or send them my way.

Strawberry and Blackberry Tart

I have been on a baking/blogging frenzy (I think you can call it that, when an absent blogger posts 4 days in a row). I think unemployment is getting to me, because I've been baking/cooking to take my mind off of it. Not really sure if that is working in my favor, given that time spent on making food and looking at food blogs would probably be better spent looking for a job. But, you gotta give yourself some outlet, right? At least that's my reasoning.

Anyway, onward to the tart. Recipe and inspiration came from here.

First off, buy yourself the following ingredients:

1. Frozen Puff Pastry, 1 sheet, de-thawed

2. Egg, 1

3. Sugar, just enough for sprinkling outer rim

4. Cream Cheese, 4 oz

5. Heavy Cream, 1/4 cup

6. Lemon zest, 1/2 tsp

7. Powdered Sugar, 3 tbsp

8. Berries, whatever combination you want: strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, enough to cover your tart. I used about 1/2 small package of blackberries and about 7 strawberries, sliced.

First thing you want to do is de-thaw your puff pastry, this takes about 40 minutes, according to the directions on the packaging I bought. Once thawed, preheat your oven to 375 degrees. Carefully roll out your puff pastry onto a lightly floured surface, then transfer to a parchment lined baking sheet.

Score the pastry with a knife at about a 1 in thickness, careful not to cut all the way through. Prick the middle section with a fork.

Brush outer edge with beaten egg and sprinkle with granulated sugar.

Bake until puffy and golden brown. The recipe said for 18-22 minutes, but mine only took about 15

While the pastry crust cools, mix up the cream cheese filling.

First, beat the cream cheese (which should be slightly softened) until smooth. Then add 1/4 cream, 2 tbsp powdered sugar, and 1/2 tsp lemon zest. I also added a touch of vanilla. Beat until light and fluffy, and fully combined.

When the crust is fully cooled, scoop the cream cheese filling onto the middle.

and evenly spread it out.

Then top with your berries, in any design that you'd like.

Here's a close up.

And finally, use that last tbsp of powdered sugar to sprinkle over your tart. This step would look prettier if I had a sifter, but fingers or a spoon will do. Serve at room temperature, and refrigerate leftovers.

Update on Farm Fresh: I used up those turnips I picked! I was a little worried that I wouldn't, because turnips don't really sound all the appetizing. But, I found a recipe for Turnip and Potato Fritters that I thought looked pretty good. I wasn't quite sure what to serve them with, so I just made scrambled eggs for a breakfast for dinner type meal. As you can see from the picture, I had a glass of wine to go with it. Wine goes with breakfast, right?

the many sleeping positions of nora the cat.

Nora's almost as lazy as me these days...

She will pretty much sleep anywhere,

Like with her head perched against my leg,

or her body drooped over the arm of the chair.

But she really does prefer a lovely spot in the sun.

the best pancakes I've ever made.

Sweet Potato Pancakes with Spiced Pecans and Peach Butter

The best part about this recipe is that, although there are a lot of different components, they can all be prepared ahead of time. That means an amazing, and quite simple, weekend breakfast without all the hassle.

Ok, so there are 3 parts to this recipe: the pancake, the butter, and the pecans.

I started with the butter (halving the recipe was plenty).

Ingredients:

1/2 cup peaches, diced (I still used the full amount of peaches, but if you wanted to stick true to the recipe, just 1/4 cup)--Another adjustment I would make for next time would be to mash them up just a little.

1 stick butter, softened

2 tbsp brown sugar

itty bitty pinch of sea salt

Directions:

Beat butter, sugar, and salt until light, then add peaches and beat until combined.

Scoop butter into individual portions and refrigerate until ready to serve.

Then I did the pecans.

Ingredients:

1 cup pecans, chopped

1/2 tbsp butter

1/2 tbsp honey

1/4 tsp cayenne pepper (I might have sprinkled a little too much of this on...)

1/4 tsp sea salt

Directions:

Heat skillet over medium heat and add all the ingredients to pan. Cook until lightly brown and caramelized, about 8 minutes. I stirred pretty consistently because I was worried about the pecans burning. Cool and then store in an airtight container.

Last up the pancake.

(even though now that I'm thinking about it, I started the whole process with baking the sweet potato!)

(Again, the following is the halved recipe which could comfortably serve 4)

Ingredients:

1 small sweet potato, or 1/2 a large one

1 & 1/4 cup, plus 2 tbsp flour

1/2 tsp salt

3 tbsp sugar

3/4 tsp baking soda

1/2 tbsp baking powder

1 & 1/2 cups buttermilk

1 & 1/2 egg (yes, I know, this one was a little hard to portion)

1 tbsp butter, melted

1 tbsp honey

1/2 tsp cinnamon

1/4 tsp nutmeg

Directions:

Prick sweet potato with fork and bake at 400 degrees for about 45 minutes. Let cool.

(this is the point in the story that I stopped for the day and I finished the rest of the batter in the morning, but you could do it all the night before if you wanted.)

Mix together flour, salt, sugar, baking soda, and baking powder in a large bowl. In a separate bowl, whisk together buttermilk, eggs, and melted butter, then add to dry mix. Peel and mash the sweet potato, adding to it the honey, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Add to batter and let stand for at least one hour. When you're ready, just prepare pancakes like usual. Heat griddle or skillet (over medium-high heat) and ladle batter in batches. Flip when bubbles begin to form and cook the other side for a bit.

Serve topped with peach butter and spiced pecans.

Seriously, if you can't make these for tomorrow, make 'em this weekend. These pancakes are d.e.l.i.c.i.o.u.s!

Farm Fresh.

This past Saturday I picked my own produce from the ground!

Micah and I went with some friends to their friends' farm in Petaluma, which is about an hour north of SF. They were having a cookout/campfire. And sometimes it's just a nice change of scenery to get out of the city. Plus, we were told we could pick our own produce, who passes that up?

By the way, this is our newest addition, a kitchen cart.

As I was picking green beans with this other girl, we talked about our simultaneous feelings of connection and disconnection. Seeing the farm. Pulling and picking the produce. Feeling the dirt. I was connected to where my food was coming from. I was connected because I was harvesting it. And, yet, I had done none of the work to get the plants to that point. In fact, in some cases, I did not even know how to pick the produce. Is there a special way to pull green beans off a plant? Am I doing it wrong? I am disconnected from the process of how food is grown.

It was great to be out there on the farm, but it also has caused me to think again about the complexities of food production, both local and not. How do you support smaller entities on a tight budget? How do you encourage the local food movement, while realizing that this might come at a cost to small, "local" farmers in the international market? Farmers that have been forced to produce food not for their own local market, but for the U.S. How do you mobilize for provision laws for farmers, knowing that these also bolster large, factory productions that do damage, socially and environmentally?

Lots and lots of questions...

Wish I had some answers.

On a positive note, Micah and I sure brought home some farm fresh loot. We got green beans, cucumbers, lemon cucumbers, squash, radishes, kale, beet greens, chard, and turnips.

First up on the farm fresh menu was kale chips. Now, I had never made, or even had, kale chips before, but given all the rage around them I thought they'd be a fun experiment. I read a number of different recipes and decided to keep things simple. I washed and dried the kale, then torn it into "chip size" pieces. Put them in a bowl and tossed with olive oil and a sprinkling of sea salt. Spread onto a baking sheet (don't over crowd the chips) and baked for 7 minutes (or until crisp) at 350 degrees.

And, I'm happy to report that I really liked kale chips!

For dinner, I wanted to use some of the squash Micah picked. And when I saw this recipe for Flatbread Pizza with Sausage and Squash, I couldn't pass it up.

We also made a salad to go with it. Unfortunately, I hated the taste of the beet greens. They tasted really salty to me, so we ended up with an abbreviated version of a greek salad. But, oh my word, this garden cucumber was the absolute best. SO crunchy. SO tasty.

I'll keep you posted on whatever else we make this week from our farm fresh produce.